The MFAOP and Armorobotech Weapons, Inc. present
The American Spy Cow

   American Spy Cow Information Center  
What is the American Spy Cow and the MFAOP? What do the animals look like and how are they made?
How are the animals controlled? Why the cow? What are the uses and strengths of each breed?
Coming soon: What's new at Armorobotech?Coming Soon: What's next from Armorobotech?

What is the American Spy Cow and the MFAOP?

The American spy cow is the newest addition to a series of radio controlled robotic farm animals which were developed by Armorobotech Weapons, Inc. for the US Army's Military Farm Animal Operations Program or MFAOP to innocently walk into enemy territory where they would be mistaken for real harmless farm animals. The program was first used during the gulf war when explosive chickens were used to attack people and buildings in enemy cities. After the war MFAOP was used by the FBI to track down and chase dangerous criminals. In 1994 a mechanical race horse chased a convicted murderer from the scene of a fatal hostage situation for an hour and a half before he finally collapsed from exhaustion. The Animals were also used for rescue purposes. In 1993 a team of 5 Mechanical Ducks rescued a five year old from the raging waters during the Great Mississippi River Flood. After the Oklahoma City bombing skinny tom cats were used to search through the rubble for survivors. Since the Gulf war 42 different species of farm animals have been developed for various uses.

What do the animals look like and how are they made?

All Animals created by Armorobotech are designed not only to look like their living counterparts, but to feel, sound, and move like them as well. After a new animal idea is proposed, a separate team is compiled to thoroughly research the animal and then design a mechanical robot to match the animal's bone structure. Another committee is made up of experts on taxidermy, animal calls or sounds, digital radio command systems which control the animal, micro camera technology so that the control personnel can see as the animal would, the batteries or engines that power the animal, and the heater and Flesh substitutes which make the animal feel and move correctly while covering up all trace of mechanical parts. For animals which fly or swim separate groups of experts are used. The designs are then brought to the building team, which puts the structure and the added parts together to come up with the final product. If the proposal team approves of the product it will be released and used by the MFAOP. If the proposal team disapproves, the committees will work together and recreate the animal until the product is approved.

How are the animals controlled?

During the Gulf War The Armorobotech Animals were controlled by simple remote control video systems. However since Early 1993, Armorobotech Weapons has been using complex Digital Radio Command Units to control the movement and other actions of the animals. The units now consist of a video monitor, a 360 degree control stick, and at least one panel with 120 function keys. The video monitor is divided in to four sections. The top two sections display the view from the eyes of the animal with the D/SIL-2 micro cameras. The Bottom two sections display the animals current location on an area DoubleI-U satellite map and the unit's history of commands ordered and received. The 360 degree control stick is used with the function keys and allows the robot to walk, run, turn around, change view, and for some animals to swim or fly. The function keys are programmed to do certain things for each individual animal. For example, one key might make a duck quack, and another might make it flap it's wings or paddle with it's webbed feet to swim. Each panel has 120 keys but some units have two panels giving them 240 keys, and the Dutch Belted SpyCow uses a complex 809 custom panel. The personnel who work at the units not only have to have knowledge of the animal they are controlling, but must memorize every key's function, and be able to work with the control stick and the video screen to move the animal.

Why the cow?

The American Spy Cow is not just the newest installment to the series, it is also the most advanced and by far the most dangerous. In July 1998 The cow installment plan promised not one, but seven new breeds to be added to the program. The Holstein, Fighting Cow, Angus, Kurdi, Dutch Belted, British White, and Spycow7: UAS, which make up the instalment, each have there own particular uses. It took the people at Armorobotech Weapons 5 years to finally perfect and complete the seven projects, but the results were nothing short of amazing. All breeds (except Dutch Belted) use two function key panels in their controlling radio digital units which means that they can process and complete 240 commands. New additional functions on all American Spy Cows include:

What are the uses and strengths of each breed?

Although the seven American Spy Cow breeds have many things in common, there are many remarkable features that set them apart. Many of the Cow's have features that have never before been seen in Armorobotech's Animals. Featured below is a complete list of the breeds followed by a brief description of the animals's strengths and uses. I may update this site occasionally, so please return in the future so that you may receive the fullest American Spy Cow experience.
The following information was last updated on 1/2000.

• The Holstein Cow

It is perhaps no doubt that the most cowish of all cows is the great Holstein. With it's black on white spots, this cow remains the most stylish breed by far. Thousands of Americans worship the beautiful pattern as they drink this cow's excellent milk. They will easily admit that this is the greatest cow there ever was. Therefor it is safe to assume that the robotic Holstein is just as fantastic as the living one. The Animal is mainly used for attack purposes. The Holstein has three types of special attacks, The Explosion, The Fire, and The Nerve Gas. The only attack that destroys the animal is The Explosion which is caused by a series of P1JJ9 plastic explosives. An internal fire ignites all bomb units at once causing a massive explosion and impact of 400 feet. If the correct modes are enabled, explosions may also occur when the cow is shot at or milked. The Explosion is a fairly common method of intentional self destruction. The Fire attack is the burning of a building or haystack using the small blow-torch built into the cow's mouth. With a simple command, a seven foot jet of fire shoots out from the source for ten seconds and ignites all flammable items that it comes in contact with. When The Nerve Gas attack is ordered, the toxin Un4-Ult4 is released through the nose of the cow. The attack is deadly, but the cow of course walks away unharmed (note that this is an appropriate time for a moo of agony). There are currently 27 cows of this breed locked away at Armorobotech Weapons Inc. Headquarters and production status is now "active".

• The Black Fighting Cow

If you have never herd of a "Fighting Cow", perhaps "Fighting Bull" will fill you in. Or maybe the words "toro toro toro" will help. In Spain and Portugal crowds of people still come to watch traditional bullfights and experience the bloody deaths of the bulls, which almost always occurs at the end of each fight. However if one of Armorobotech's mechanical Bulls were fighting, the robots chances of survival would be much better. It might seem at first that this huge American Spy Cow was created just for the fun of the person at the control. But a closer look reveals that this mooing beast is good for a whole lot more. First of all, the fighting cow has one of the sturdiest frames ever used in an Armorobotech animal. It is able to crash into thick concrete walls without being harmed. The cow's diesel engine provides the animal with maximum power and allows speeds of up to 35 miles per hour, making it the fastest Animal in the series. The inner skin of this cow is plated with bullet-proof (g-a0-2 #11-) foil sheets which protect the animals mechanical interior. So exactly what is this cow used for? The Black Fighting Cow's main weapon is rage, craziness, mad cow disease or whatever you want to call it. When faced with an enemy or enemy crowd, this animal turns into a "living beast from hell". Using a variety of special jump and buck moves, the cow charges and terrorizes without interruption for as long as necessary. With bulletproof, waterproof, and now fireproof skin, only a large explosion can stop it. Although this animal's strength is unmatched, the MFAOP has little use for it in the future. There are now 10 cows locked away at Armorobotech with production at two a year. A team of six personnel is also trained to control them.

• The Dark Angus Cattle Cow

When the average American passes a herd these beef cows in a field the animals usually remain... well... just cows. But the anguses are much more than cows. Because of the dark coloring of these animals, Armorobotech took the opportunity to make a "stealth, night stocking" animal for the Spy Cow series. The results were quite interesting. The angus has no real purpose other than being the classic Spy Cow with a few deadly touches. Unlike the other breeds the animal is calf size, which allows it to get into places larger cows could not. It's size also helps it to avoid being seen by enemy cow killers. The cow can work stealthily at any time, but can do much more when operating in the night's darkness. No powerful explosion is available for this animal, but a variety of unique additions and capabilities take it's place. First, are the angus' legs and hooves which do much more than on other cows. With the special claws and suction cups attached beneath the hooves, the angus can climb up walls, trees, and many other climbable things. As if it were a rabid kitten the angus can jump onto an enemy's head and attack with it's claws and if the controlling personnel desires, a deadly venom can be released. The legs of the animal are fitted with springs allowing the animal to jump into the air or even hop at high speeds. The angus's unique head is another ingenious addition. Here, behind the normal cowish teeth, the cow has a set of real coyote fangs. When required, the cowish teeth will sink in, leaving the fangs open and ready to release their deadly venom. Armorobotech also put strange red and green lights in the mouth and eye sockets of the animal to give it a "horror vampire, killer cow look" Which can be used if necessary to scare the wind out of the victim before it is attacked. The third interesting feature is the animals tail which has the ability to lengthen itself and then tie itself into one of fifteen different knots enabling the angus to hold onto or carry things. The knots can also untie themselves in less than five seconds. Because of the excellent and creative features of this cow, robots are still being produced at a rate of 4 units a month. With over 55 heads and several trained control teams, the Angus is simply the King of the Cow World.

• The Kurdi

As a native of Kurdistan, the Kurdi has been used by nomads as a pack animal for centuries. Therefore it was not surprising that in the wake of the Gulf War, special requests were made to Armorobotech that a breed of cattle that would be accepted in that region (which includes Iraq) be produced and be available at need. It was also requested that the cow should have the maximum possible amount of storage space, in which small arms and ammunition, vital documents, and even explosive devices could be transported across land. The Armoorobotechies were quick to respond with a striking initial design. With an ultimate capacity of 5 1/2 cubic feet, and room for a few tricks of its own, the project was approved and production began. Aside from having a 20mm gun installed, and the greatest maximum distances per fuel tank of any other breed, it could be configured with a small and unique cow copter device, allowing it to become an instant gyrocopter. "Everyone was in disbelief and shock, and complete amazement" says MFAOP project director Johnny Duke of Cows. The gyrocopter, nicknamed Little Lily, caused quite a scare on board a low flying Boeing 737, when an overenthusiastic Armoorobotechie flew the cow next to the aircraft with a sign attached reading: "Why not try the chicken". Later a flight attendant reported that not a single passenger chose the optional roast beef sandwich, and that several passengers even complemented the crew on the chicken, saying: "It tastes a lot better when you know that no cows had to die for it". Later, young Armorobotech Nerds spent days flying the cow in the vicinity of bars and mental health institutions, and even the president expressed his approval, and told Armorobotech that it was a great strategic asset to the country, but not quite his kind of cow. Despite it's amazing capabilities, the animal was never incorporated into the more recent Iraqi attack plans. There is, however, one cow currently wandering Kurdistan at a classified location, which is ready when needed to shoot down a MiG or two, or even drop itself in an unsuspecting village. As of now, seventeen cows exist and production status is 'active' with an average of two fully operational units per month.

• The Dutch Belted

After a long discussion with project planners, and government officials, Amorobotechies began planning the Dutch Belted, a dairy breed, known for its wide white belt over its otherwise dark body, and common in both America and Europe. Unlike other SpyCows, this cow uses neither guns nor explosives, nor is it known for its fuel mileage or speed. Instead the Dutch belted represents the chemical and biological warfare sector in the SpyCow community. It can poison food supplies, plants, water, air, other animals through a venomous bite similar to that of a snake, and even give poisonous milk to unknowing farmers. It can be given chemicals to corrode various walls and fences, allowing it access to restricted areas. Flammable chemicals can also be spread across acres of farmland, before being ignited by a small distance flare from the cow. The robot can plant and spread diseases ranging from irritating viruses and infections, to mortal plagues and outbreaks, among cattle and people. Simply stated, the cow is capable of causing severe injury to the economy of any agriculture reliant state. In all it contains small samples of 1,910 different chemicals, natural poisons, and biological attack agents. And with this breed well known in many areas of Europe and the USA, it is more effective, and easier to work with. Because of the great list of chemicals and application methods, the main control panel comprising of 809 special keys. Therefore, the units control crew must be larger, more experienced, and know the unique arsenal well. As of this date, only two such teams have been trained. Unfortunately, the only such breed that was ever produced was destroyed on mission, but not before maddening several enemy cows. A British secret agent was able to recover many of the agents for future use, but many still were lost. Two more models are ready and waiting for the necessary items to become available. Until then, production is halted.

• British White

This cool British supercow is an experimental, though quite amazing machine. Modeled after the British white, the animal has several small guns and explosive devices for defense, but the majority of its body and head space are devoted to its unprecedented computer system and human controlled brain. Implanted behind its eyes, in its throat, and in its neck, are a vast array of signal output devices, which make up the true strength of this beast. With one flash, the SpyCow can knock any subject cow out for good. The robot does, however, possess a number of more interesting and complicated abilities. Real cows can be brutally terrorized by a series of radio waves from the Spy Cow, and when used, they will begin spinning, dancing, and hanging out with llamas. With an expertly designed combination of sound and light waves, cattle brains can be flooded with mathematic terms and equations, and not being able to handle such complexities, normal cows will immediately die from brain implosion (We're serious. They really implode). But most fascinating is the Brit's (experimental) ability to convince other cows to join it in an organized rebellion, and follow it in a well organized and controlled military operation. Though this ability is still being researched, scientists and 'Techies watched in awe, when, in November 1999, a herd of cows were convinced to turn their Texas pasture into a new communist regime. 'Gee' said a zealous Armorobotechie, who had been observing from a safe distance as the cows consulted with Red Chinese officers, 'now we know that all cows are equal, but some, and by that I mean Spy Cows, are more equal than others'.

• SpyCow7: Universal Amphibious Submoorine

Inspired by their accomplishments with the great gyrocowpter Kurdi, the Armorobotech Team set out to attempt to outdo itself with the design of a fully functional Submoorine, an amphibious cow, which could actually swim several thousand miles across the ocean, without resurfacing, in the fashion of a modern Nuclear submarine. The process in which the cow becomes a submarine, is extremely complex and nearly impossible for the Amorobotechies. However, the promise of unlimited government funding on the project kept them loyal to the idea, and they eventually obtained the materials that were needed. Unfortunately, many sacrifices in the cows land operations had to be made to allow such amazing features, but remarkably, the beast still does not reveal its true identity when walking with other cows. Indeed, it's battleship gray appearance and massive size may strike some as odd, but it manages to follow all the previously assigned standards of acceptability for the SpyCow project. Underwater, the unit has two methods of traveling. When selected, Type A, the simpler, and more natural method, transforms the hooves of the animal into large webbed feet, allowing the cow to glide easily through water. Type A is more suitable for careful surface, and shallow water traveling in situations in which full control and stealthiness is required. When speed and deep, unobserved traveling is desired, Type B mode may be called for. Type B turns the cow into a functional submarine. First, a panel of waterproof skin on the back of the cow is opened, revealing a watertight compartment containing an attached propeller, which then extends upwards, and back, thus arriving in position to operate. Then, on the top, bottom, left, and right sides of the cow, a strip of the same skinlike material is opened, and four directional rudders can emerge from watertight compartments. While Type B traveling is activated, the front hooves become claws for retrieving underwater objects. If an object is collected, a small storage bin in the animals neck can be used to transport it. Though quite limited, the cow's weapons system is powerful enough to sink a small craft and damage many others. Just beneath the skin on the frontal portion of the upper back, the Amorobotechies positioned two mini-torpedoes, and a launching device. The torpedoes, with 4 inch diameters, can receive partial guidance from the control center. Between the two front legs of the animal, a powerful laser gun can be fired, but due to size limitations, only enough fuel for a half second of intense beam activity, can be used. Nonetheless the beam is deadly, and is believed to be capable of causing severe damage to a battleship or submarine. When the cow becomes close to land, Type B must be deactivated, and Type A must be used to guide it toward the shore. When Type B is deactivated, the propeller re-enters the chamber from which it initially was expelled, and the skin is pulled down and sealed. The compartments from which the rudders were controlled, do not however remain intact, but are dropped, allowing a new layer of the waterproof skin to be applied from the center of the cow. Before the unit travels in Type B again, new rudders must be installed. By default, Type A is now used to guide the robot to land, where its feet are turned back into hooves, and it may walk normally. Because it is expensive to build and operate, no more of these models are being produced, but three are now held in Armorobotech headquarters, one awaiting repairs at an Armorobotech facility in Scotland, and another in the hands of a malicious criminal organization.

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